Other Mothers: Our Comrades-in-Arms

Did you ever notice how if you get a bunch of moms talking about their birth experiences that the conversation can go on for forever?  The variations are endless:  the length of the labor, what worked, what didn’t work, the crazy things they said, what went as planned, what didn’t go as planned, etc.  Why is this?   I think it’s because giving birth is an intense, crazy, sometimes terrifying, exhilarating, life-changing experience.  To someone who hasn’t been through it, this topic of conversation is probably boring and definitely gross.  To a mom, though, a birth story is a story of adventure, courage, despair, love and triumph.

Parenting young children on a daily basis isn’t always as dramatic as childbirth, but it is nevertheless intense and full of ups and downs.  As moms of young children, we are in the trenches of parenting. Sometimes our children do things that make us feel as if our hearts will burst with love.  Yesterday my son piled a bunch of his toys on the couch and then declared, “I’m a beaver in my den!”  His joy, innocence and enthusiasm were truly a beautiful, precious sight.  This morning he told me, “You’re the best mommy in the world!”  Sometimes I love him so much that it hurts. 

Sometimes, though, I want to pull my hair out when dealing with him.  A couple of weeks ago he literally told me that he could not go to sleep because his fingernails were too long.  Seriously????  He can’t sleep because his fingernails are too long???!!!   I absolutely love his gregarious, joyful personality, but sometimes I just wish he would stop talking for five minutes.  And then there is the meal preparation, the laundry, the doctors appointments, the shuttling to school and activities, the teeth brushing, the baths, the wiping of noses and bottoms and everything else that goes along with caring for a young child.  All of the tasks that are vital to the health and functioning of our families can feel a little monotonous at times.    

So where does friendship with other moms fit into all of this?  What can we get from communing and fellow-shipping with other mothers?  The Bible makes it pretty clear that we are stronger when we find fellowship in one another than when we toil alone.  Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 says: 

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

God did not intend for us to walk through this world alone, and I don’t believe that he meant for mothers to mother alone.  Only another mother can understand that whether your cranky toddler takes a nap can literally MAKE OR BREAK your day.  Another mother will understand how in the course of a single day you can be overwhelmed with love for your children and later be filled with frustration.  Other mothers are our comrades-in-arms.  Other mothers are the other soldiers in the trenches, our co-workers in parenting, our teammates in this crazy, difficult, wonderful journey.  As Ecclesiastes says, two people are better than one.  When one of us fails, the other can lift us up.  How can one be warm alone?  Mom friends are not a luxury.  Mom friends are our lifeline on the journey of motherhood.

So why MOPS?  MOPS carves a space out of our busy lives for friendship and community.  Moms are busy, and taking time for ourselves and to build friendships requires some planning.  MOPS provides childcare, a regular meeting time, delicious food, thought-provoking speakers, and most importantly, a safe space to create what makes us all better and stronger:  friendship, fellowship and community.  God didn't intend for us to mother alone.  Let’s do it together. 

--Emily Fountain